Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
