Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
