is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
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I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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