your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
