just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
