Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
