Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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