Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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