There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
