No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
