2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
