im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
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Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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