This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
