Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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