so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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