Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
