I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
