the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
