But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
