i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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