Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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