I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
