im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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