Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
