I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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