HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
