I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just gift wrapped bread.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
