i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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