I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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