You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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