words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
