Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
