Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
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If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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