i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
