I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
