he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
