It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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