I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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