i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Terrible idea I love it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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