oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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