I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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