I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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