You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
