he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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