i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
