I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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