Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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