She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
