No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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