I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
