So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
