That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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