I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
