Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
