Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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