U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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