Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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