he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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