I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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