don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize