so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
