I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
