You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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