my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
