They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
