he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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