Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
