His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Vodka?
Forever.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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